As I thought, I was a confident guy. Until now, I found out that I’m not that confident. I still doubt about myself.
When I decide to do something, I am not trust myself. Few years ago, I admit I was learned to be confident. Late and later, I was soon become not to have confident.
Why my confidence was gone? I think about some factor:
1. My identity. Just like the profile, I’m an “over-gentle” man. This makes me feel like I not strong enough. Walking on the road can be blown by the strong wind…
2. Underweight. As usual, I was not going to take off my shirt if there is anyone there, even in the house. Many guys love to take off their shirt, due to hot weather and so on. Thanks to the BTN, I was forced to take off the shirt in the public. My thinking is do not want others to feel scare on my body because skinny look. After that, I was taking off my shirt frequently.
3. Presentation. My presentation was fallen semester after semester. I’m feeling like I cannot generate so much idea on time, speak out quickly and accurately. Pressure always comes along.
4. Myself. That was the most important part in my life. I am not trust myself in the look, and personality. When people praise me, I will think badly and feel that they are “double meaning”. There is no need to feel happy. Why I have owns this feeling? Maybe I scared when I believe it, they will say in another way.
Haiz…again, where there is no confidence, I cannot move on. Maybe I need to force myself to have confidence, a little trust myself, my ability~~~